He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm just crazy horny about you
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
i think im in europe. pls send help
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
