He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
