glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
