I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
