dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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