Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
