i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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