I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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