Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
how does that bad decision feel?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
