When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
