remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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