I want to have your abortion
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
It was confusing and full of hummus
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
