I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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