Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
