none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
