Swine flu. Run for my life!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
