No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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