oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
