she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
