two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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