You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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