I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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