OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
