my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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