Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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