im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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