You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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