yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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