Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Pants are for mortals
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
