i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
