You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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