did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
