i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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