9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
