I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
