i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
