i can't believe i had my finger in that
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
