Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
