On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
