I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize