It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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