Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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