I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize