Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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