we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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