Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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