That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize