you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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