Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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