that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
