I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
