party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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