Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize