i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
