Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
