why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
