he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Randomize
