He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
