so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
