Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
