Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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