forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
